"..who died, and then came back to life, and then died again" and other classroom humor

Everyday I laugh. My kids, even though they don't realize it, are so funny. In one class there's Brian. He's a tall and skinny 12 year old, who is never shy about offering answers and commentary in class. Unfortunately, Brian is not the sharpest tool in the shed. For over a month, he spelled his name Brain.
Then there's the boy who doesn't understand the rhyming game.
"Cat."
"Bat."
"Hat."
"Shadow."
"No, no," I say. "It has to rhyme." I give some examples. "One more time."
"Sit."
"Hit."
"Fit."
"Bridge."
And that was like the 5th time we'd played that game. Still doesn't get it.
In my favorite class, a class of 11 year olds who don't really have the greatest grammar but can get their point across, my partner teacher, a Canadian named Nicole, and I are constantly the subject of their writing. The stories usually go something like this: A male, American English teacher has a Mad Cow farm, where he raises Mad Cows (There was a mad cow scare here half a year or so ago. Koreans protested to stop American beef from being imported because some sick beef made it here. All the kids got out of it was "American beef, bad.") He gives some of his Mad Cow to a female Canadian English teacher. She gets sick, but doesn't die. So she gives him back some of his own beef, and he dies. The end. Oh yes, and we are learning relative clauses now, so most times the clause is something like: The American English teacher, whose face is ugly... It never gets old to them. I die in at least 50% of their stories. Sometimes twice. America and Ryan Teacher take a beating in those kid's writing.
And finally, there's Harry, in the same class, who maintains to this day that his dad's job is Batman.

romance in korea: sloppy joes and matching outfits

Ryan and I just celebrated 9 years. Incredible. To celebrate, we headed to a happenin' part of town to try a new Japanese restaurant. Interestingly, I keep telling myself not to try a foreign countries take on another foreign countries food, but unfortunately, I never seem to follow my own advice. Despite the scary plastic model food outside, we ventured in and were seated behind a young Korean couple who were obviously really drunk (about 4 bottles of soju in) and the girl proceeded to cry violently through dinner. That was just the beginning.

The glossy menu they gave us looked incredibly unappetizing, but we felt like we were already hemmed in by the water and appetizers they promptly brought us. We settled on a yummy looking salad with fish and some sort of stew that is cooked at your table with tofu. While salad was alright, but stew ended up being something like Korean sloppy joes made with cubed tofu, a little ground beef and a strange chili tasting soupy sauce. Of course, having a little piece of cheap American food from my childhood while in Korea was a priceless experience, but it wasn't exactly what Ryan and I were looking for.

By Korean standards I'm afraid to say that our relationship looks a bit bland--Ryan doesn't carry my purse and we don't wear matching outfits. That's right, matching outfits. Usually they come in the form of a his and her matching plaid button-down shirt, or hoodie sweaters (called bunny hugs by the Canadians, by the way) with identical, nonsensical English phrases. Last weekend however, was the best. While snowboarding at Pheonix Park, 2 hours from Seoul, we got to see matching snowboarding couples! Koreans like to do all outdoor activities in style (ie. hiking and walking in the requisite black pants and solid-colored fleeces), so everyone, but us, were wearing very expensive and purposefully mismatching and over-sized snowboard gear. One couple had matching sweaters with big stripes of pastel pink, green and yellow. Another had matching red plaid snowboard jackets and pants.

In conclusion, I think this year will be good for Ryan and I. We'll finally learn how to express our love publicly. I'm not sure what the message is exactly. It could be he/she is taken, which you can see from the way we've identically labeled ourselves. Or, it could be, I often loose my partner and the only way I can find them is to look for someone dressed the same as me. Whatever it is, I think it's clear we have a lot to learn from Korea about love.


Here we are, un-coordinated, but loving every minute of it. Ryan is so blissfully happy, he had to close his eyes to savor the moment.

Shopping for Jeensuh

I had yet another awkward moment due to the language barrier. I went to the mall to shop for some jeans, or as the Koreans call them, Jeensuh. There are all the same brands as back home, mainly designer, like Calvin Klein and Levi's. But there are also a lot of funny "almost brands" such as H & T (not H & M), Ralph Polam (not Ralph Lauren), and Black Face (which could probably go in any number of directions, but I think it resembled North Face). Anyways, I went to the Calvin Klein area because I heard you could get nice American brands for a little less than back home (this turned out not to be true). As soon as you enter any shopping area, an attendant immediately comes to your side. This is not just at the mall, but anywhere. I'm sure that it would be super helpful if I spoke Korean, but since I can't communicate that well, it's sort of awkward having this Korean person silently follow you throughout the store as you shop. So I picked up a pair of jeans and motioned to try them on. Great. He led me to a dressing room. They didn't fit. I tried on another, no luck. I kept having the same problem--the crotch area was too baggy. Anyone that is not taller than 5' 9" or so will know exactly what I'm talking about. So by the third pair my little Korean attendant guy asked me what was wrong. I told him that the waist was fine but the crotch area sagged just a little. Unfortunately, I did so in English and he just looked at me with a blank stare and an empty smile. So I tried to explain it to him in Korean. Unfortunately, I only know about 40 Korean words and "saggy crotch" was not one of them. So all I was able to do was grab the crotch of the pants and say, in Korean, "too big." For some reason, the guy just walked away in disgust like I had something wrong with me. I don't think he understood what I was trying to say.

Suwon Folk Village

For Lunar New Year, which, I'm afraid to say, was about three weeks ago (sorry), Bethie and I went to Suwon, a traditional folk village. Its a reconstructed village for tourists that shows how Koreans of previous generations lived, something like Sacramento's Sutter's Fort. It was a cold day, but the fresh snow and small children bundled in eskimo suits made it quite enjoyable. We watched a few shows: Korean drumming, an equestrian show with archers and gymnasts, a tight rope walker, and we ate some traditional pork. It was a beautiful time and a great way to break in the new year.

Uncle Tom comes to Korea

This photo may not be a representation of your understanding of an Uncle Tom, but it is for a Korean...
I was having dinner with a Korean friend and we mentioned Tom Cruise's recent visit to Korea--very big deal. She said that he was so gracious and friendly, and the Korean public loved him so much, that they are calling him "Uncle Tom." I couldn't help but laugh and a rather long-winded and perhaps confusing explanation followed, in which I tried to explain the complications of American racial politics and abolitionist history. Good to know that the tradition lives on.